I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
