If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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