they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
