I got chris browned last night
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
