My liver just broke up with me...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
