Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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