I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
