I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
