id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
