the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
