ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I have aggressive nipples.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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