I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
