could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
