I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
