don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
