They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
