My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
