she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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