I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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