we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
false alarm, still single
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
