"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Randomize
