im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
