My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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