Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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