is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
