Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
