I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
