He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
