Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
