My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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