I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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