I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
