Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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