i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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