And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
