some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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