so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
