I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
