it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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