I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
