anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
