I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
