i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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