You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
