If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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