therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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