so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
