I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
