Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
