My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
