what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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